Have you ever heard of a zero-maintenance device? How wonderful it would be if your car, house, laptop, et al didn't require any maintenance? Wouldn't it be comforting to not be bothered about them getting spoiled? They would just be there..by your side.. Doing what they do the best. Think about it, you would never have to spend time taking your vehicle out for servicing if it were zero-maintenance.
I am not sure if we will have ever zero-maintenance devices but I do enjoy some zero maintenance relationships.
And what a comfort it is. You must wonder how a relationship can be zero-maintenance.
Let me try and elaborate here.
Two people, no matter how close, how attached and how much ever in love, do end up having differences at
some point or the other. These difference may be insurmountable or very much resolvable. But they do crop up.
And if it's between two friends, it's even worse.
Have you seen two 'friends' exchanging I love yous and
I miss yous all over each other's Facebook walls? Not to
mention the endless muah, muahs to go with them. How cute, no?
Then they have a difference of opinion or a silly fight, an apparent
breach of trust, a something and there -
"She is the biggest bit*h there could ever be". How convenient.
"I love you" is the new "It was nice meeting you". You go to a bar alone,
order a few drinks and mingle with someone hanging out at the bar.
By the time you leave, you have had a good time with him/her and you go "I love you, man.".
You have no idea about that person's whereabouts. But you bump into that person
after a few weeks and it's like you are meeting your closest bum-chum.
Hugs and "oh I missed you" and what not. And then again, out of sight, out of mind.
That happens. A lot. This is just another example of how fragile and insignificant some relationship (or friendships) are.
This happens with people who you see everyday too. You might not give a damn about them when they are not around but on their face, they mean so much to you.
How do these relationships help? Isn't keeping them alive a task? You have to 'pretend' to be caring and loving. Oh what a drainer!
Coming back to resolving issues, I often wonder how friends turn so hostile towards each other at the drop of a hat.
You have known that person for a while, you have observed how that person is towards others and you, then why not
look beyond a small difference and misunderstanding and give that person a chance and let go! If you fear pissing off
your friends or people who you love by saying a 'no' to something they ask for or by not being available to them for every
little thing they expect from you, then it's a dysfunctional relationship.Where is the comfort? It's only maintenance,
and high maintenance at that.
Don't we all have a few zero-maintenance relationships? I do too. These are the people I am constantly in touch with.
These are my friends in the true sense. But I don't get pissed if they are not around sometimes when I need them and,
likewise, they don't have any hang ups about me not being there for everything they need. And even if there are things
which seem unreasonable, we believe that there is a genuine enough reason for that too.
These are also the people who I always have a good time with, because their faith in me as a person is not subject to everything
I say or do. Their opinion about me doesn't change. And oh what a comfort it is. These are the people I can be myself with.
In today's times, when every personal and professional relationship is engulfed with paranoia (oh why he hasn't replied to my text yet,
why didn't she return my call, is she avoiding me, is he not interested in speaking to me), it's a comfort to have certain friendships
which are completely paranoia-proof. We don't need to please these people everyday, we don't need to work on 'maintaining' the relationship.
The maintenance comes from the undying faith and genuinity on each person's part. And it makes life simpler, and definitely more fun.
"There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship." - Iris Murdoch.
And it's true. Count the number of taken-for-granted, zero maintenance relationships you have. And rejoice in the glory!
This post has been taken from http://cogitativeme.blogspot.in/, written by Swati Maheshwari.
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